I shouldn’t be doing this.. It’s wrong. but I just can’t help it…

I can’t stop thinking about him.. 

If I’m interested in you, you’re all I see. I won’t look at anyone else, or want anyone else. Everything I say and do, is only to you and no one else..

The clock moves but I sit here as if time sits still with me.. Do you ever have those moments where you want to forget about everything and just start over? Erase everything that ever happened and start your life on a clean slate, as if life was as easy as taking a fresh piece of paper to write with. No mistakes, No permanent damage… But we don’t have control, and that’s where most people end up regretting the choices that they make. People think there’s always a second chance. People think that there will always be a way out. Not in life. There’s never a way out with a decision that changes your life for good. There’s no rewriting the past or going back and try to undo what was already done..

Hoy cumple 4 años de muerto mi abuelito hermoso..

y no sabes cuanto lo extraño..  I still remember the last time I saw you.. I was angry. I was mad at my parents for making us leave Texas early. I honestly just wanted to be with you and grandma so bad. I didn’t want to leave!!! Ever.. you mean’t so much to me. you still do grandpa…. you always will…..

But also, I still never forget the story Grandma told us, the week of your funeral.. You were asking for me and you were asking for my Dad also, right before you passed..

De verdad no sabes cuanta falta me haces abuelo. Te extraño muchisimo… tus palabras.. tus abrazos.. todos esos momentos hermosos que pasabamos juntos. Te quiero mucho y siempre estas en mi mente Y corazon..

Y al fin…  ya no estas sufriendo.. 

3.22.09 ♥ Rest in paradise.

Just stay & not leave like everyone else has done.. I’m tired of seeing people walk out of my life. It makes me feel useless, worthless, and unimportant to them. That’s just the worst feeling I can ever feel. You’ve truly made such a huge impact on my life, and have become so important to me that I don’t ever want to see you walk out of my life. It would kill me. You mean so much to me, love. I honestly just can’t stop looking through all these pictures of us. each and every day… You truly make me happy. more than anyone has ever. You’re the best.

Everytime someone walks out of my life, I feel like it’s my fault that they’re gone. So please. Please just stay.. 

”I want a low key relationship. No one has to know about us. No one can ruin our relationship. No one can tell us what to do. No one has to know anything. Just us against the world. Me and the one person I love.”

That’s just how I am actually.. I mean I’d rather not say anything and be happy someone actually paid attention, than babble on and on about my life and realize no one was really listening.