Hell, he may actually enjoy it more and decide that this break may need to be a permanent thing. It’s just so hard to say goodbye.
i don’t know how to feel like are you supposed to feel the same way about a break as you do about a break UP because sometimes i feel like it’s a break up and other times like we’ve just hit the pause button and play’s right there to be pressed soon so why even be upset right but then again no
But the thing is, I try to distract myself.. but then yet again I think over everything and what I could have done differently. This break scares me. You hear people talk about heart break or that they’re taking a break and you don’t understand why there was such heart ache. Maybe it’s because you put your heart, sole and energy towards a person and then within seconds or a couple words your world is back to the way things were before you knew them or dated them.
How can you flip a switch like that… You can’t that’s why.
I can’t lose you and what I was terrified of happening is happening.
I love you and I always will.
Just the thought of you thinking of giving up and leaving crushed me to shreds.. please don’t do this… I would never leave you, no matter what. even with all the arguments, I know we’re gonna get through them. I’ve NEVER even thought of leaving you. you’re worth everything to me.
I need you. please, I’m begging you.
Don’t leave me like this. don’t give up on me so easily…. I know I’m a handful but please… please don’t do this..
Ugh I just can’t stop fucking shaking and crying. wtf have I done.
Although I haven’t wrote in a few weeks… I actually spent half my evening reading through some old posts I’ve written over the last couple of months, and I laugh, just a little bit to myself, thinking how silly and overly dramatic I’ve been for crying and ranting over those stupid things - things that don’t necessarily make sense now, or even matter. And suddenly I feel as if a lightbulb just lit up, as I begin to question just how important the things I stress about really are. They’re not. Not half as important as they should be, and I should stop. It doesn’t really matter, anymore. I shouldn’t dwell, I shouldn’t worry, I shouldn’t care as much. But it’s more of a natural thing to do I guess… to worry, to care, to be human. Because despite knowing how utterly useless it is to stress about things that would no longer matter a number of years from now, it’s the one thing I’m good at.
I shouldn’t be doing this.. It’s wrong. but I just can’t help it…
I can’t stop thinking about him..
If I’m interested in you, you’re all I see. I won’t look at anyone else, or want anyone else. Everything I say and do, is only to you and no one else..